Thursday, June 11, 2009

Taco Buffet

Truly there cannot be a better phrase with two meanings than "taco buffet." You're either referring to a delicious trough of spiced meats and tortillas and vegetables and cheese from which you can feed, or an attack which involves a violent beating with tacos. I can't think of a better way to die, either by overindulgence at a taco buffet, or by taco buffet.

My tombstone must read "death by tacos" or my life will have been meaningless.

This blog will be a stream of consciousness blog of silliness, pretty much. It is called the taco buffet because it encapsulates everything I stand for--Mexican food, and using food as weaponry. I will start the NTA, the National Trout Association, fighting for the rights of American citizens to be armed with frozen trout. I suppose I will have to enlist Billy Mays to sell a portable freezer briefcase in order to make this possible, but I'm sure he will think it's a great idea.

I guess it could be NTA the national taco association, but I think it'd be a lot more awkward to try and joust with tacos than with trout. There's a reason fencing swords aren't four inches long. There's also good reasons they don't consist of fish or pliable, milled corn filled with carne asada, but I think those limitations can be overcome with some ingenuity.

For example, taquitos are often called "roll tacos," and a frozen taquito of substantial length could probably be sort of like this:

Except with a taquito.

Come to think of it, I really don't think that image can be improved upon. It comes from the future where Chinese and Japanese people have merged into a super race, sent this fantasticly fabulous man as their envoy, and have acquired the [l] phoneme and incorporated it into their surnames. The wonders of Star Trek, The Original Series (something I will blog about at length, I assure you) never cease

I can't think of a good way to end this. I was going to insert a picture of terribly drawn MS paint penises but I think that would be against the blogger.com terms of service, so you will just have to imagine it as hard as you can, or open up MS paint and draw some yourself. It's pretty cathartic.

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